The last week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. The strongest man, whose blood runs through the veins of my entire family and who was indescribably influential to so many many people's life has passed. My Pop, my friend and an inspiring man loved by many, now rests in peace. I take comfort in the thought that God needed him so, and it's likely so as my Pop can keep everyone in line and laughing at the same time. We will all miss him terribly, but cherish the time we had and take refuge that his soul is at peace, waiting for us on the other side.
I have a wonderful family that I love dearly, but as all families, we are not perfect. As of recent years, our once uncommonly close family has drifted apart. My mum is one of six siblings who grew up less fortunate to most, with amazing parents, where the family inevitably stuck together and became very close. As time has passed, we all got lost in the fog of life.
In life, when clarity is not present, more so when clarity is not paramount in a relationship, there is no question that our vision becomes blurred and we get stuck in a thick fog of emotions. This fog is fuelled with regret, anger, sadness, disappointment, stubbornness, hurt... You get the picture. Never productive or enticing emotions. So, it begs the question, why do we enter into this fog voluntarily knowing what hides in the darkness?
My work revolves around bringing clarity to people and implementing it into their lives. Yet, there is evidence of fog in my backyard. I understand the true importance of clarity and how the consequences of non-compliance can tear a string of relationships apart in one hit.
It is often that the smallest thing can lead to the biggest problem. May it be as simple something that bothers us and is so small and tedious that we hold in, that escalates and blows up to a much larger issue than it generated as. For example, a pet peeve of mine is when the dishwashing sponge gets left in the sink wet. It creates bacteria and smells. I ensured that I was clear with my husband that this bothered me and to try to not let this happen. What I did was eliminated any room for error and used prevention rather than repair. If I were to keep quiet, and continue to watch this happen, one day I am bound to blow up and cause an argument over something undeserving. Not to mention the other parties unawareness. They cannot prevent annoying or upsetting you if they are unaware of the situation.
Clarity is paired with communication, just as ying is paired with yang. There is no such thing as being clear, without it being communicated. And not just any form of communication. An authentic, diplomatic and considerate communication is the preferred method. Why do we shy away from explaining to the people upsetting us that they are, knowing they may be unaware of it? ... And we are more than eager to discuss it with a third party who possesses no control or influence? One may believe it is because we shy away from confrontational situations. It only becomes an undesirable confrontation should you allow it. If the intention is in the right place, and the delivery is considerate, you actually have an extremely high chance of hitting two birds with one stone. Those being; avoiding future conflict, as well as gaining a newfound respect from the third party. Should the issue ever rise again, you have solid ground to dispute, as you have done the right thing and attempted to address the subject in early stages. Which side of the fence do you want to sit on?
The recent passing of my dearly beloved Pop has distinguished some of the tension and undesired discomfort within my family. It is unfortunate it happened in the way it did, but nether the less, we are all grateful that it has happened... Especially for the angel whom remains to keep us all together, my Nan. I admire her courage, and a clarity she possesses that I had never seen in full swing until late. My darling Nan dared to point out the elephant in the room, she dared to be clear, she dared to put us all on the spot and bring to light the situation that brought us all together, even for a moment. My hat goes off to her, and even remembering her crackly voice speaking up in the room full of her children and grandchildren which she dearly loves, makes my stomach feel light and a strain on my eyes. I had never been so proud, and at the same time, never wanted to do the right thing so much before in my life. If I am anything like my Nan, I hold a fire inside that I am forever grateful of. I aspire to be like her, I aspire to help others to be like her. Never underestimate who you might learn from and take the most out of a life changing opportunity that might present itself from the most unlikely source. I love you Nan, I pray that I am smart enough to continue to learn from you.
I hear so often that "life is too short". I hear so often that "time spent on a grudge, is a time spent wasted". Why is it that we take value from these sorts of affirmations, but are not as able to inject that same value into our life?
From every mistake made, is an opportunity to learn. From every lesson learnt, is an opportunity to do the right thing. From every right thing, is an opportunity to grow with yourself and others. Don't let the world leave you behind, cease the opportunity that is provided to us too often and relish in Gods gift of freedom. I will forever remember my Pop in my own special way. I will forever remember my pop with a smile on my face, a light in my heart, and with the great memories of how he helped form who I am today. What do you want to be remembered for?
Samantha K
