What does she really mean when she says she is “fine”?

Ok… as women we very well know that it can be difficult to understand how we think, as some of the time (or even most of the time) even we don’t understand it ourselves.

Men can often hear what they want to hear, and can make the mistake of taking what a female says at face value. The term “I’m fine!” may mean the one and only thing it can mean to you, however, it is quite the contrary when it is coming from a female.

Women communicate by giving subtle suggestions instead of being literal, so they can check for positive reinforcement before they continue. Women want to be careful about the impact they have on the other person. By doing this, women can actually cause a hell of a lot more confusion by trying to be diplomatic and nurturing, and end up frustrating themselves along with the person they are trying softly communicate with.

So, is it possible for men to ever really work out what she is saying or what she wants? Is this where the term “Girl-Code” comes from? What is the secret to decoding Girl-Code? Will it ever be easy? There are three elements to what she is saying:

-       What she says.

-       What she means.

-       Why she says it.

Being able to answer these three questions, you will be able to know what she is really trying to tell you.

If you have seen the movie The Italian Job, you might recall this awesome line: “I’m Fine”, “Do you know what ‘Fine’ means?”

F: Freaked Out

I: Insecure

N: Neurotic

E: Emotional

… I love this!

It all depends on how it is said, not what is actually said. You know how we say that actions speak louder than words - This is absolutely no exception! Gender conceit always amazes me, with Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. This is so untrue. We are both from that little planet called Earth and we are all of the same kind. The more that we believe in this mentality, the more it becomes attached to our self-esteem. Even more than that, we make it OK not to bother to even try and understand the opposite sex as we have literally alienated them!

I hear men say, “Why don’t women just say what they mean?” Women are born negotiators, diplomats, etc. Men are basic and women are details. What goes into the thought behind what a woman says is so thought out and considerate that most men would not be able to fathom the effort, nor understand its effect.

When a woman is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a man is quiet, he is listening to you.

When a woman is not arguing, she is deeply thinking. When a guy is not arguing, he realizes he is wrong.

When a man says he is fine, after a few minutes, he is.

When a women says she is fine, after a few minutes, she’s not.

 Samantha K

xx