Flirtationships

The most intense relationships can result from flirtationships. The art of flirting has become a skill necessary in order to meet new people and form new exciting relationships. In the 21st Century, we are more reliant upon technology and have become less confrontational and confident. I hear too often people's struggles to meet people. Where do you go to meet someone? How do you get dates with the people you are interested in? It all comes down to the ability to flirt!

Once you are confident and truly understand the mechanics of flirting, you will find yourself meeting all sorts of people in all sorts of places. You will find yourself locking in dates with people who are you interested in. Once down pat, the flood gates open. 

The trick with flirting is balance and comfortability. There is a fine line between sleazy and flirty. There is a fine line between desperate and available. It all stems from the intent behind the flirt and the true desires. If you are desperate for a relationship, no matter what front you put on - it will be evident that you are desperate.

Friendships can often step into Flirtationship territory, which is generally where it becomes tricky. We hear the terms 'friends with benefits', 'F#&k buddies', 'booty calls', etc. but do they ever convert into a respectful, fulfilling relationship? Sexual tension within a friendship, with or without a sexual relationship, can be intoxicating and extremely exciting. Bearing in mind, this is ok as long as you are both single - otherwise this act can be constituted as emotionally cheating. The duration of the Flirtationship is fun and exciting, and consists of sexual suggestions verbally, written and via body language.

The office is another avenue for Flirtationships and can be one of the more complex relationships. To evolve such a relationship with someone whom you spend a great deal of time with, generally in small spaces and get the privilege of seeing regularly with the mix of a professional obligation can be a recipe for disaster OR a perfect spark for a fresh relationship. These types of relationships are a separate topic alone and is one that has caused much controversy. 

So have fun flirting... You are not hurting anybody. It encourages a sense of comfort in your sexuality which is desirable for the opposite sex.  

Samantha K

xox

The effects of negative energy

Yesterday started out to be a seemingly normal  day for me. Until it hit the afternoon, and I got a reality check of how amazing my normal morning really was. I sat with my husband on the couch last night feeling quite drained and a little disappointed in myself, but couldn't entirely put my finger on what was going on... Until he pointed it out for me. The effects of negative energy.  

In contrast to my morning of seeing my bright eyed husband bounce out the door with a smile on his face and having an early lunch with a friend I adore, my afternoon was a stretch of encounters with negative and unlikely people (besides a few new introductions along the way which were my savior through the afternoon). It was then I realized what a great job I have done with catering my eco-system to its desired state. It is extremely difficult to cut toxic people out of your life, I know, but I am so pleased to say that I have conquered it and now have the most amazing surroundings and support of positive, passionate, driven and ambitious people. It was a reality check, that wasn't fun, but am glad to have encountered it. 

Throughout the day, I interacted with 5 stuck in the mud, negative and unhappy people. I also had interacted with a larger number of wonderful people within my eco-system whom I cherish. But, those 5 people threw out my flow. Those 5 people affected my energy. Those 5 people are lucky to have had the chance yesterday, but will not have the chance again. How many toxic people does it take to take on the toxin? For me, I felt it with 5. Who many toxic people are influencing your life and happiness?

In life, and building relationships, the very first and foremost thing you must remember and posses in respect! Have respect for others, and have respect for yourself. But... It must be earned before demanded both ways. 

Low Confidence & Self-Esteem - Kick it's Butt!

A lack of confidence and low self-esteem is something that more people have than we could probably begin to imagine. Even the most externally confident, and sometimes even seemingly arrogant people, can be dealing with confidence and esteem issues. It all arises from self-image and how we perceive ourselves, in either one or two ways:

-         -  Not valuing one’s self and having a low self-worth and/or

-        -   Focusing more attention and applying a higher significance to the aspects of one’s self in which one is unhappy with.

I have said it before and I will say it again; You can’t truly love another until you truly love yourself! As clichéd as it sounds, it is so definitely true. We will all at some stage doubt ourselves in some aspect in our life, sucking our belly in, hiding our flaws and shortcomings, eluding that we know more than we do, exaggerating the truth to impress someone… But how important is it to have that basic acceptance of ourselves? If you were to step outside your body and look in from the outside, in the scheme of things, do those little extra things we want in which we do not have place such significance?

It is very difficult to get closer to another person if the real you is masked. You deny them the opportunity to fall in love with your true colours and see what is amazing inside, even though you might not agree with its measure. It is all about liking yourself profoundly – not just because of something you say or do. The goal must be for you to like yourself even without that flash car or an important title, or that you have not yet found that perfect person for you.

You need to relate to your reality in a way that makes you feel as good as possible. If you think that your weight is a problem, it will become a problem… and most likely those around you will perceive it as a problem. But if you don’t worry about those extra few kilos and feel beautiful anyway, or do something about it and get rid of what you feel is holding you back, you will feel better! It is the same reality, just two completely different perspectives and thus two levels of happiness.

The spotlight should always be on the very best you. You will become what you want to be.

Individuals with low self-esteem will generally follow these behaviours:

-          - Not paying sufficient attention to one’s own needs and wants;

-         -  Saying “yes” to requests from others which you do not really want to meet or do not have time to meet;

-         -  Find it difficult to communicate effectively in relationships;

-        -   Feel bad about one’s self and guilt if something promised was not achieved, or acted in a way which you feel you should not have acted.

When it is written out in example form, it is much easier to relate to. If any of those behaviours felt familiar, it is time to own it and change it! So… how?

Here are a couple of tips from our Relationship Rocketscience toolbox to help improve low self-esteem and confidence:

-       -    Give yourself credit when you achieve something that you set out to achieve. It is really important not to be too hard on yourself. Taking pride in your accomplishments is really important. For example, I was very humble about my Bachelor’s Degree and didn’t think it was anything overly special (as I was comparing myself to others). Until I realised… I had put enormous effort, countless hours of study, tens of thousands of dollars, etc! Why should I be bashful of that!? I shouldn’t, so I became proud and owned it; as should you! I guarantee that you have many positive aspects of yourself and of what you do that you take for granted and don’t give yourself credit for.

-         -  Avoid comparing yourself to others. Yes, use the basis of comparison as a benchmark to achieve targets, to use as motivation, ONLY! No one is perfect! And if you were, you would probably be very boring.

If you truly believe in yourself, so will others. Deeply ingrained confidence and self-worth will make like more enjoyable, exciting, satisfying and open it up finding true love.

Samantha K

xo

Challenge!

The word challenge lights such a competitive nerve in my body and builds a sense of drive for accomplishment. Upon looking up the definition of the word “Challenge” I received this: “A call to take part in a contest or competition”… and I didn’t really like it. As much as I admit that my competitive streak is apparent at the thought of the word, I did not believe it to completely sum up my interpretation. When you think of the word challenge; what comes to mind? Is it test, trial, task, contest, encounter, experiment, dare, defy? They are but the synonyms of the word.

As of late, I have found myself converting undesirable experiences into challenges. It continually reassures a new prospective on life’s challenges and awakens my drive to succeed. But, who am I competing against? To whom am I in a contest opposing? Life… Myself… The World?

I couldn’t help but wonder as to how much the reward of a challenge affects our participation? We all strive to achieve! However, does owning the right to proclaim success surpass the benefits of learning from our failures? I have found myself wanting to succeed, but nervous at the thought of succeeding prematurely as this may cause me to miss the learning’s from failing. How bizzare! I have the desire to fail now, to not only save myself from it in the future, but the get to my desired future quicker.

I know a very cool man, Trav (with a stella mohawk!) who is known as “The Bucket List Guy”. It is a fantastic concept and something I support whole-heartedly. He challenges you to the fullest! He challenges you to do the things you want to do and how to get to your ultimate peak in life. Now that encompasses a challenge. He becomes almost like your opponent – so you get results. It’s great that when you have someone there to push and encourage you to win. It’s even better when you give your word to someone else, how that forces you to get up and do it!

I began to wonder how much this drive has to do with the “why”. Why have my newly, almost unnerving, situations been so elegantly converted into challenges? Where has this drive and determination come from to welcome failure, only to benefit? It was only upon thinking about what Trav does, that I realised… it was my eco-system. It is the people I have chosen to surround myself with. It is definitely also my husband, Emir!

I ask you to take a second… look around at your eco-system… who do you see? Are you similar?

Are you prepared to fail? What undesired circumstances can you turn into challenges?

I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk. – Tony Robbins.

Samantha K

p.s I walked around the block with Emir today… My body is making progress. Challenge accomplished!

Rich, Wealth & Reality.

It has been long since I have written on my blog and for that I am sad. This blog has been such a wonderful outlet and I have definitely missed its presence. The last 3 months for me has been an absolute whirlwind, where I feel as though I have been tested in life to a great extent. In the past three months I have lost both my Pop and Grandad, and in the midst of selling my house became violently ill which resulted in an operation in my stomach. I sit here now on the couch after a stressful day of the Real Estates Open House, wrapped in bandages and feeling like an old lady, reflecting on the past few weeks. Having your own business and hitting such bumps in the road has proven to be more difficult than anticipated, yet definitely character building. It got me thinking about how lucky I am. Yes, it may seem strange to feel lucky at this point in time, but in the midst of difficulty… the ability to see the light is indescribably inspirational.

I am so rich! What does it mean to be rich? No matter how much I am grateful for what I have, I tend to find something that I am still taking for granted. Like my brother-in-law Mirza said to me the other week: “Don’t worry… It’s on me. Let’s have lots of fun and make the most of our time. I will not be taking this money with me when I go.”

When we begin our life we wish to be rich! We wish to be wealthy in money to do anything our hearts desire. When we are in our final stage of life we also wish to be rich. However, we wish to be rich in health, time, family and love.

I am so rich in love. Each day, I think I cannot love my husband Emir any more than I do in that moment… yet, each day continues to enlighten me. He is representing us this weekend in Sydney (to both our dismay) and the feeling of something missing is undeniable! Family and friends become a life source and it is beyond appreciated… I especially love those who elegantly surprise you.

The people who like you share with you the light… but the people who love you keep by your side through the dark.

I am so rich in health. At the moment I am not bouncing off the walls, but appreciate my health more than ever. No matter how much you believe, praise or teach that you do not know something’s true value until it is gone, is never as strong until it is apparent in your life.

I am so rich in life. The gift of life is our greatest gift from God. He gave us the gift of freedom to do with it as we wish. I choose to live life to its fullest.

I do not wish to use this post to preach. I do not wish to use this post to self-indulge. I wish to use this post to recognise the beauty of life and to appreciate each moment.

So… never lie, cheat, steal or drink.

If you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.If you must cheat, cheat death.If you must steal, steal away from bad company.If you must drink, drink to the moments who take your breath away.

Please, go give your loved ones a kiss. Please, remember happiness is the key to life.

Please, thank God for what you have and do right by him to make the most of his gift to you.

Samantha K

p.s. I am back!

When ‘Men’ think Women are crazy… and ‘Women’ think Men are stupid.

Hello Gender Conceit!

We have all heard the term “Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus.” I truly dislike this saying. We are both from that little planet called Earth and we need to STOP deeming each other aliens. We are pushing each other into the territory of ‘unknown’, yet we say we wish we could understand the opposite sex.

We all feel obligated to defend our gender; it is part of our self-esteem. Gender conceit is each gender thinking it is basically right, while the opposite gender is basically wrong. Best expressed as, "We're right; they're wrong."  Gender conceit often sees an attack on one's gender as equal to an attack on one's self. Although, repeatedly, the one thing that can be said is that all men are not alike and all women are not alike, people resort to gender bashings as a way to make a point.

“Girl Power!”

“Bro Code!”

Etc…

We hear this every day. We have actually become accustomed to it. We have formed teams and can be very loyal to them. Please do not get confused that one is better than the other! Men and women are denying themselves the opportunity to get to know and understand MOTOS (Members of the opposite sex) by perceiving them as the lesser version of their species.

When trust is absent, relationships are characterized by ‘me vs. you’ or ‘us vs. them’. Have you ever heard a friend go through a nasty break-up and use such extreme generalised statements such as:

“I hate men!”

“Women are nuts and only good for one thing!”

“All men are the same so I am staying away from them all”

“It’s women’s fault I want to stay single”

(My compassion is present and I understand the state of mind in a break-up, this is purely example only)

What is needed is for men and women to bridge the differences between them rather than men being "right" or women being "right." We need to understand the opposite sex. If we approach our relationships from a stand-point of always being "right," we lose harmony, while promoting constant competition.

As I sit in this café writing away I happen to hear the women next to me talking about the TV program called “Two and a Half Men”. I actually never thought that women might be offended by this show. However, it got me thinking… that show possesses a very blatant gender specific script. Women are disposable to the highest bidder (Charlie) and women walk over the underdog (Allan). Women are treated like sex objects and that beauty and brains cannot co-exist. I can understand why these women may not like the shows perception of women. However, may I dare to put the shoe on the other foot? The men are made out to be clueless, reliant upon alcohol and status, and have a thick fog of insecurity, no self-worth nor a beaming respect for themselves… being single and unfulfilled against whatever they may say. It is actually a perfect advertisement to my point of gender conceit and the lack of knowledge (and application) of MOTOS.

The game cannot be played without teams; the teams have no purpose without the game. Possess good sportsman ship and keep the game alive!

Samantha K

Dating, Relationships... and the new avenues to love.

Dating and Relationships - Welcome to my world! 

This is what I live for. I live for love. I live for sharing the good and the bad times with my loved ones, friends and even those amazingly lovely people that remind you why it pays to get out there and give others a chance. In the past 12 months, I have met more wonderful and inspiring people than I think I have in most of my life. It is truly astonishing what you discover when you have a shift in your eco-system. When was the last time you stopped... Had a look around... And really took in what this world can offer?


I admit, I have been to a couple of seminars of late, but if you can take in the message of the content, along with finding the secret gems within the audience, it can be a really cool experience. As the majority of the people attending these seminars want to make a difference in their life, or the world, and truly have a purpose in life, it is easy to connect with inspiring figures. It got me thinking... How many people were missing out on this experience?


There are many a people who don't care for self-development and are content with their current situation, and I am not against that at all! But for those people who feel the craving for more in life and desire to fulfill a purpose, I encourage you to get involved, even if it is just for the networking and the people you meet. 


So, what I started to realize is that it is exactly the same in the dating world. Those people who truly put themselves out there, to learn, improve, make mistakes, and go after what they want are the people who are actively successful in relationships, or even friendships alone. I meet amazing people all the time! I connect with people on such a regular basis that I want to share this with those who are looking. I hear people complain all the time that they don't know where to go to meet good men/women, and they generally result to bars and clubs, which they know is not ideal. 


So, I broke it down, bit by bit, and discovered why I could find so many single, available catches so often and my single and looking friends couldn't. It was not because I am married and it's sheer luck that the universe is sending them my way. It was my attitude. It was my desire to learn. It was my openness to meeting new people without judgement or expectations. It was not limiting the scenarios and places I could meet these people. I have met fantastic people everywhere... the train, the supermarket, 50th birthday parties, you name it!


This is why I do what I do. You know all of the amazing people I meet? I keep them close, I keep them so close that I can share them with you. This is where Relationship Rocketscience's dating database began. As a Matchmaker, it is now my job to find and keep all of these wonderful people I meet, and it is the most amazing and fulfilling job I have ever had. As a Relationship Coach, it is my job to make sure you have the skill set to make it a success!

This is also why I have started my events and made them FREE! I know of sooo many seminars and even singles parties that cost you to be a part of. Good! When you pay, you pay attention. But, how do you know you will get your money's worth? You don't... So you don't go. Thats why my events are FREE!


If you connected with this post, and you have that spark inside that you want to light up, you need to come along! This is the first time I am plugging my events and parties in a post, but I am so excited to share this with you and I want to reach all those who want to play!


So... Here are a few deets:

Melbourne event:http://www.relationshiprs.eventbrite.com.au

Sydney event:http://www.relationshiprsyd.eventbrite.com.au

Single & The City Melbourne:http://www.citysingles.eventbrite.com.au


Thank you so much for your support! I hope I get a chance to have fun with all of you at some stage!


Samantha K

http://www.facebook.com/RelationshipRocketscience 
(yay it's up and running)