When life kicks you down... There is nowhere else to go; but up!

Today was a bad day. I had a mini-meltdown. When you are chasing your dreams and are at the beginning stages of setting up something amazing to live by, having bad days where you lose motivation feels inevitable. Today I lost motivation. Today I lost sight of where I was going and my imagination failed me to remember where I wanted to go. I lay dormant on a couch in my office for almost an hour contemplating whether or not this is just too hard, or if I had the mental strength to see it through. I knew I could do it, but the positives were to much to bare and I became a slave for negative intoxication. However, negativity has an enemy... A fierce, ruthless and sometimes frustratingly successful opposition... His name is Emir (also known as my husband).

I came face to face with the reality of my meltdown, and it wasn't fun. I realized and acknowledged a flaw; this flaw was that I can too easily run away from problems, and have formed a quite effective art of ignoring them til the go away. Out of sight, out of mind, then thrown in the fireplace to burn away. I learnt today pretty harshly that it is not only unacceptable, but is detrimental to my health, happiness and my life. I realized the true importance of honesty in a relationship in a time like this. I am greatfull for the love my husband has for me, and I in him, as we worked through this together. He told me everything I didn't want to hear, he told me everything I knew that was right but wanted to just hide away from, even just for a day. One day... one day is nothing! Can't I just have one day to be miserable? The answer is no. When you have someone in your life who values each second of his life, and has shown how much you can do in only one day, it is hard to justify even an hour spent walking backwards.

Love, support, honesty, faith and respect was today my savior. Qualities and values I hope and pray every person can cherish in their life. It was an amazing re-awaking as to why I do what I do, and how important my role can be!

The world is a beautiful place, but unfortunately it is not a perfect place.

There is not a person on earth who is unfamiliar with the undesired feeling of when the world gets on top of you, and it is not something anyone enjoys. It is how you deal with these situations, these bumps in the road, that the focus should be held upon. To simply tell someone not to dwell on life's problems can often be a helping shovel whilst they are digging themselves a whole in the ground to lay. It is a personal journey, where the cruel to be kind words of honesty must be nurtured with the support necessary.

There are many witty and wonderful affirmations at our disposal, and they all make perfect sense when our mind is clear. Why is it that we deter away from logic and common sense when, often things out of our control, get us down? Why is the easy street to be miserable so desirable in a struggled state?

Love is a beautiful thing, but as with most things, it is seldom perfect.

It is said that love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, and that happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed. We seek love, we want love, but often may it be that we expect love more than we cherish it. We are reminded of what we take for granted when we see others who don't have and strongly desire what we have. We are reminded of what we take for granted when we see the unfortunate, or we are stripped of something we deeply love.

The one thing I have undoubtably learnt today was that I must face my fears. I realized that the big picture should always take front seat. Things could always be worse! The barriers we face in life make the success so much sweeter and valued. When we reach our goals, we will thank those hurdles for making us truly appreciate our achievements. They are not there to knock us down and out, they are there to try, and the are there to try for our benefit. There will always be someone who doesn't believe in you and doesn't wish you luck, as long as that person is never you, you will reach your destiny only to smile and then truly realize the power of self- love and belief. It is what holds you back if you allow it, and it is what also what makes your dreams come true... If you allow it!

Samantha K

Office Romances

I recently read an article about romantic relationships with colleagues and its success rate. Office romances are few, short lived and not usually destructive.

Studies show that in the past five years, only 12% of singles dated someone in their office.

It made me think to the offices I have worked in and what sort of presence office romances, and in turn, office politics had in them. In all 3 offices (accounting practices) there had been numerous relationships between staff, from forming legitimate relationships to casual sex. In a few cases, I have heard that the people invloved would not normally have considered that type of a relationship with the other person if met outside the office environment.

What drives us to find the people who we work with, the people who we spend a great deal of time with on a daily bases, unusually attractive and enticing? Is it for the simple fact that we know it is wrong or not allowed? Is it so as we have the luxury of spending more time with them and getting to know them in a shorter time frame?

Most workplace romances last less than 3 months and only 6% of women date their boss.

Studies have shown that after breaking up, 56% reported this did not affect their professional relationship. Thirty-sex percent of singles would consider dating someone in their workplace.

So it raises the question, why do we enter into workplace relationships with high hopes, having a subconcious reality that it is likely to be short lived, and we will have to continue working with them?

How is it that a relationship ending outside the office can end and become awkward or touchy, when a workplace relationship can go on naturally seeing each other everyday? Maybe it is because we simply don't have as much of a choice to make it awkward and uncomfortable and the professional persona kicks in. If this is possible, why can't we apply some of that theory to our everyday lives and their break-ups?

It is common for offices to frown upon workplace romances. For reasons such as the romance being a distractions from work, bias working arrangements and work reviews, bringing disagreements from home into the office and avoiding messy breakups. Is this more of an incentive, than a rule to abide by?

Samantha K

Friends with benefits

Friends with benefits - is this possible?
No strings attached sex - can it be that simple?

Along with food, air, and water, sex is up there in the top necessities us as human being need in life. We dine with friends, we drink with friends... are we just as easily able to have sex with friends? The answer seems almost as simple, but unlike food, air and water, sex can be unbelievably complicated.

Does the overwhelming desire for sex out rule our judgement with friends? Can you ever go back to being regular friends once the sexual veil has been pierced? It may seem as though your friend would be an ideal mate to satisfy each other’s desires and needs, however the damage it may be doing to the relationship could be irreparable.

This can be an ideal situation for the man, as it is generally is easier for a male to disconnect his emotional feelings and rely solely on the physical. This stereotype is not always foolproof and can be the exact opposite, especially when it comes to having sex with a friend. The simplicity of the relationship, the release of sexual tension, the elimination of rejection, expectation or disappointment of a girlfriend can be intoxicating and addictive. This can be a misguided perception of what a monogamous relationship would be like with this person, and the imagination can run its course in a false direction.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. - Jay Leno

Samantha K

extract from eBook

Break-ups, Separation & Divorce

No one enters into a relationship wanting it to end, or predicting it to fail. Unfortunately, not every relationship can withstand its preferred duration and break-ups can be inevitable. We would like to think that every separation can be civil, thoughtful and stress-free, however the reality is that it is seldom the case.

The termination of a relationship can be an extremely difficult time in a persons life, in which most would like to try and forget, but how much of that break-up or previous relationship do you carry with you post-separation? It can be the simple fact that a person can be totally unaware that they posses anything from the relationship or what effect it has had on them. It can lay dormant until an attempt to enter into a new relationship where the effects can be seen.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

It is often heard that a person has been scarred from a relationship or that they have been burnt by their previous spouse. This is dangerous territory and how the person handles issues post break-up can redefine who they are emotionally.

It is extremely common for one to become guarded, cautious and emotionally absent in these times. This is a defense mechanism for the heart which automatically activates to protect itself from further hurt.

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience. - Victoria Holt

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. - St. Augustine

Samantha K

extract from eBook