Rejection is a part of our life in so many ways from being rejected at a restaurant where there is no availability, rejection from a job that we may have not been suited to, rejection from entering a venue wearing the wrong attire, but the most sensitive and potentially damaging is the rejection we receive in dating and meeting new people.
It goes without saying that society dictates that men are most subjected to rejection and it just the way it is when it comes to dating and meeting new people. I understand that this gender role has been passed down many a generations, but with such an evolution in the dating world and the new-age roles of men and women, should it still rest upon the man to be responsible for taking the risk of rejection? Will there ever come a day that women hold the majority sector of taking those risks and approaching men? Which sex actually handles rejection better?
When you think about it, it is not such a bad idea for women to take the reins and start approaching men. Really... if they went after what they wanted, they would have less chance of rejection and more of a chance at creating a relationship. How often do you see a women approach a man for a discussion and he rejects her? Not to say that it doesn't happen, more so of a generalisation. Is it that we as women hold an assumption (whether it be true or false) of the man should he want to engage in conversation with us? If you actually stop and think about the affect rejection has on a persons confidence and self-esteem, it can be quite severe and a major deterrent. Has dealing with rejection resulted in the evolution of men to become more ruthless and upfront, so as to not allow it to affect their self perception? In contrast, how well would women compare to handling rejection?
It was a topic of discussion only the other day, when a male was explaining to me that he didn't want to rush into sleeping with a female that he liked, because of a few lifestyle hurdles, he knew that the relationship could never eventuate. He explained how much she took it to heart and how it affected her self-esteem and confidence, no matter how much he tried to avoid it and assure her that it was purely out of respect for her and that he found her very attractive.
Just the same as when a woman puts herself out there, only to have discovered the man is seeing someone else. No matter how much he would have liked to engage with her on that level, out of respect for the other woman, he did not. This has proven to be very hard for a lot of women and can deter them more so than a man in putting themselves out there, which is not a good thing. Maybe it is that women should do it more often, that learning more about rejection and how to handle it with class and practicality will help them in finding a wonderful man, and also to understand how it feels to be in the mans shoes and how much it takes for them to approach women... It is sure to create a rippling effect of a smoother process and more of a considerate technique.
Who or what is stopping you from achieving that fulfilling relationship you strongly desire?
What have you done to get that relationship that you want... besides waiting for it?
What is the worst thing that can happen if you put yourself out there and aim to achieve it?
Realistically... will you be ok? Will you have lost something severely significant to your life that you cannot go on?
What do you really have to lose... and what do you potentially have to gain?
When we are out of our comfort zone is when we grow!
Samantha K
xx
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