When is someone on your level... ?

I know I have spoken previously about judgements and assumptions, but after stumbling across an episode of Sex & The City where Steve was wanting to break up with Miranda because he thought she deserved someone more on her 'level' (because her financial situation exceeded his), really caught my attention. What are the levels? Where are the guidelines to the dating hierarchy?

"Is he on your level?" "Is she out of your league?" We hear this type of chat in dating and meeting people all the time. Is it there no question that it is shallow and judgemental? Could it be possible that some people might simply be too be frank with their compatibility? Or could it even be how some people purely relate to others?

We say opposites attract, but it only ever stops there. It doesn't say anywhere that it will work out or even anything about being able to create a relationship with that opposite person. Does this type attraction for a person override our ability to see the relationship for exactly what it is and foresee what will become of it? It is common to get caught up in the moments of life, especially when you are blinded by a sexual and physical attraction. However, do they only ever stand alone, or can you truly form a relationship that stems from attraction, when all the other signs say it won't, or can't work?

As humans, we are constantly looking for others whom we can relate to. We walk this Earth searching for people who share common interests, have similar personality traits, or even remind us of someone or something we like - it is how we form relationships. So, is the thrill of the difference why we say opposites attract? Or is it that they are not opposites at all, but are merely on a different level, for example, social status, life stage,  culture or even appearance? 

When I hear people talk in such a language to say "They are not on my level" or "They are out of their league", my first honest reaction is a grunt of judgement and disappointment. But, how am I doing anything different to them? I am judging and assuming that their statements are made on a material basis. Regardless whether or not it is, there are some instances where the situation may merit such a response (although I might think it could always be said in a different way). Could it be that these people are being honest and are predicting an unfold based on relevant information, and attempting to prevent an inevitable and undesirable situation? As much as it may or may not be their place, we shouldn't assume their intentions, nor their preferences.

When it comes to looks, wealth, education or social status, it can be a harsh and mostly offensive type of stereotypical single-mindedness that can cause someone a great deal of hurt, but mostly when it is coming from a demeaning view. I know of some girls who flourish in the fact that some guys feel as though they are not good-looking enough for them! But, what about when it comes from an ethical and moral comparison? For someone to not be on your level when it comes to matters of the heart and beliefs, does that make a difference?

I believe that if we diminished the hierarchy of levels when comparing ourselves to others, but instead to reference and utilize relatability and compatibility measures, there would be a greater chance to maintain social cohesion and reduce putting down people for something they may not control.

Samantha K

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